Katy Perry has a very, very impressive décolletage and so, naturally, she is wonderful and everything she says is truth. When she sang the words “You’re hot and you’re cold/You’re yes and you’re no/You’re in and you’re out/You’re up and you’re down/You’re wrong when it’s right/You’re black when it’s white/We fight we break up/We kiss we make up” I don’t think she had the Springboks and their efforts in the 2009 Lions Series in mind, but I think you can see just how pertinent those sage-like words have proven to be.

On paper, in the opinions of any two-eyed (ie. Non-British) journalist and in the minds and hopes of our great nation the Springboks should have wiped the floor with the Lions. While they are certainly not a terrible side, their impressive wins in midweek have proved this, they should not match up to the mighty force that the Springboks can deliver. They have fought bravely, and the narrow margins in the two tests so far are a testament to McGeechan and his staff as well as to the spirit that embodies the hallowed Lions tradition. There are some fine players in their squad and my pulse rate today alone tells a story of the fight these guys have put up. But the Springboks are World Champions, and I’d argue that the squad we have today is actually stronger than that of two years ago.

However, it’s the fact that the Springboks tend to blow hot and cold that really let the Lions in during the first two tests. And much like Katy, this has left us both confused and flustered. Theories are rampant and the media has been teeming with all sorts of reports, ranging from closet racism, to rustiness, to bad selections and to the ticket prices. But the real reasons are far simpler and thankfully easier to fix.

The selection thing isn’t altogether incorrect, as The Moustachioed One’s matchday 15 could look a little better, but I probably wouldn’t change the 22 too much. To start at the top, Heinrich Brussouw must play at 6. His presence at the breakdown is visible from the second he walks on the field. In the first test, we killed the Lions at the breakdown. He was first to the breakdown, playing right at the ball and meaning that the likes of Juan, Bakkies and Bismarck could set about their business of smashing people away without having to concern themselves with actually grabbing the nut. As such, these three played good games. Brussouw was then yanked off the field and the whole deck of cards came tumbling down. Today, we got pushed off of our own ruck ball on numerous occasions. Why? Because our hard men couldn’t focus on cleaning the opposition out, they were so busy trying to get hold of the ball. Consequently, men like Simon Shaw could step in and push us over. Brussouw came on the field and it was like a different team was playing. Even with Bakkies off the field we started shunting the Lions off the ball, because the big boys knew that the little terrier was in there getting the ball, so they could focus on beating the crap out of the guys trying to bother him. Classic, powerful Springbok rugby. To top it off, Brussouw ironed out Shane Williams and put Fourie away to score. Schalk tried to rip a guys eye out. I think we can see which is the more positive contribution. Now I love Schalk just as much as the next guy, he’s a real Bok hero and this run of poor form will certainly wear off, but some time on the bench may give him the boost necessary to push him back to his best.

But the problem with having Brussouw at 6 means that our defence is narrowed a bit. With Schalk there, the flyhalf can stand a channel out which then takes the heat off of our rather flimsy midfield defensive unit. Solution, play Jaque Fourie at 13. Eddie Jones said that one of Fourie’s best assets is the way he organises others around him on defence. He talks to the men on either side of him and makes sure that they know exactly where they’re meant to be making their tackles. Add to this the fact that he himself thins attackers like the best of them, and you have a pretty nifty solution to the defensive woes. No need for the forwards to spend all their time sprinting to cover the outside center channel leaving huge holes for a switch (notice how many of those there were), leaving them to focus on their jobs. This is all without mentioning his attack, which as Ronan O’Gara can probably testify, is pretty awesome. Aside from running the sickest angle to pull Roberts off his line to open Habana’s gap (which he took with the sort of pace and verve that we’ve missed from the Bry-man, welcome back big guy, it’s good to see you again), he showed strength that hasn’t been seen since that day at school when Shaffer put all the weights possible on the hamstring curl machine and did his neck curls on it to run straight around, over and through the Lions to score what has to be the most hair-raising, spine-tinglingly awesome try in ages. And once again, the guy he replaces isn’t useless and needn’t be banished to go play in Japan, but deserves a spot on the bench where he can come on and make the sort of difference that an exciting and attacking-minded player like Adi Jacobs can make on the last 20 of a test match.

Which sort of brings me to my next port of call. A flyhalf is probably the most important player on the field. He has to make sharp, calculated decisions in a fraction of a second. This sort of skill comes from natural talent and years and years of experience in a position. Ruan Pienaar has piles of the former, and not much of the latter. He is a great scrumhalf, and had it not been for that little genius from Pretoria he’d probably be the best 9 in the world at the moment. But he still looks uncomfortable at flyhalf. He’s had great games at 10, so good that I was forced to eat my words last year, but his inconsistency boils down to the fact that he is playing out of position. The worst thing is that we don’t need him there. Morne Steyn has blossomed into the kind of flyhalf that you can bet your life on. He’s no Carlos Spencer or Matt Giteau, but if you need someone to kick you out of trouble, or to get your outside backs away quickly, or to cover his channel, he’s your man. Rather have Pienaar focus on his best position, something he himself has admitted as being his preference, and stick Steyn in to the hotseat. We know now that those enormous nuts aren’t just used when he’s wearing the Bulls jumper, because he was flawless in the face of some incredible pressure today. Like the other two incumbents I’ve mentioned today, Pienaar will add value from the bench where he can focus on being the quality scrummie he is, while providing excellent cover in other positions should the need arise.

Pieter de Villiers is in for the high jump this week, and I’ll leave that job to the real journalists. What I will say is that I hope he relaxes his seemingly rigid principles-based selection process and pick players on a combination of form and class. Because when he gets it right he really does get it right, and the Boks have played some magnificent rugby under him. And, as I think I’ve pointed out here, his 22 as a whole is pretty much spot on. I might make it a 4-3 bench and bring in a Wynand Olivier or maybe a Zane Kirchner but on the whole it’s solid. And with a few tinkers here and there the starting 15 could be the balanced, epic 15 that can lead the squad to TriNations glory, and to the top of the world rankings, where we most certainly belong.

While todays win was far from perfect, and some incumbents might be looking at themselves and thinking that they aren’t as safe as they think they are, the fact that the team had the heart and talent to overcome a nasty deficit and some poor first half play to put in a sublime final 20 gives me hope. There’s still a lot that needs to be done but that’s exactly what I like to see, room for improvement. A good start would be a proper pasting of the Lions next week at Ellis Park (Soz, Coca-Cola) and a three-nil whitewash.

As an aside, big up to Bafana Bafana for doing us proud in the Confed Cup. If ever there’s been a turnaround performance that certainly is one and I’ll be busting my three-quarter sleeved jersey with pride at next year’s World Cup.

Till next time,
Peace.