The Sinbin

The Beast, from www.beastinsight.com, writes exclusively for The Sinbin.

Brent Russell, the most exciting attacking player in the game, has not received game time in two months. I guess he doesn’t fit in to Jake’s ‘game plan’. Luke Watson can tell Brenty all about Jake’s game plan. Perhaps the two of them could discuss their shortcomings over a few Creatine shakes after elongating their bodies with pilates exercises.

                                                    Not too small for the Baa Baa’s… 

 

Here’s what they need to do if they want a look-in:

Brent: Beef up my boy. Have you not seen Jake’s Springbok Bible? You’ve been hanging with the team for years now! Mind you, you don’t get to see much of the field (by the way, it hasn’t changed shape… Bakkies was just kidding).

You need to be over 6 foot and weigh over 90 kg’s if you want to crack the starting line up. Sure, the ‘86 Bok team had the greatest backline in Springbok history, with Michael Du Plessis and Danie Craven (both tiny). In fact, it was a tiny backline with remarkable pace and skill (and Naas Botha). They ran circles around the New Zealand Cavaliers. A year later, that Cavalier team (in their All Black guise) raised the World Cup in the Bok’s absence. But that was 20 years ago Brenty. Don’t you know, Rugby is no longer a game of skill. Why learn to catch the ball and run when you can just drop it onto your foot, or brush it off to a forward.

SEE BRENT IN ACTION HERE

Luke: You have a veritable mountain to climb buddy, but with the South African public championing your cause right now, you might just stand a chance. First up, get taller. If you wanted to be a dancer in Vegas, you’d have to buy a body that fits the mould. It’s no different in SA rugby. Don’t give me a diatribe about your turnover ability or fitness or ball skills. It says here in my manual that you’re not tall enough.

Then (in your best Darth Vader voice) Luke, disown your father. We think he was cool, but then we don’t pick the team. Finally Luke, lose all of your considerable leadership skills. We can’t have a case of too many Chiefs and not enough Indians on the field. And remember: We don’t like to see passion, we want to see robots.

Finally, both of you: You better hope that we keep losing. A few victories and our fickle rugby watching public won’t care if Queen Elizabeth is on the wing. God knows, I’d like to see her spear tackle Clyde Rathbone.

Wishing that you both enjoy some Springbok game time soon.

All the Best.

Beast

Someone once told Ron Burgundy “Times have changed Ron, woman can do stuff now!”

And whatta you know, the very first letter we receive after our official cane-and-coke launch party this Saturday comes from a highly irritated female Bok supporter.

Dear Sirs, Having read your recent mail on the launch of your new website, ‘The Sin Bin - More than just the 10 minutes’, I feel compelled to express some of my views with regards to the Springbok performance against Les Bleus.

Since they are right up front, let’s start with the front row! Bar Os Du Randt, who played out of his skin albeit, a lot of it, and managed to do the green and gold proud, I couldn’t help but draw a close correlation to the rest of the front row and a ten ton truck moving backwards downhill! The rest of the pack managed a below par performance, and at times, resembled the Sri Lankan woman’s badminton team!!!

In my most humble opinion, Fourie Du Preez should stick to fixing his tractor on the farm, as clearly this is the only talent he has. Jaco Vd Westhuizen, obviously needs to spend less time on his hair regrowth programme, but Percy is still the knight in shining armour; which takes me on to De Wet “I’ve seen better hands on a clock” Barry, and Wynand “I’de rather be at the hairdresser” Olivier, who both looked like they’d rather be riding elephants in India!

Brian “What time is the game?” Habana, managed to scurry around the park like a squirrel preparing for hibernation…and then managed to hurt his ankle…SHAME, POOR LITTLE SAUSAGE!

Lastly, just when you thought it was all doom and gloom, Brent Russell managed an absolute pearler of a touchdown in the corner; he really should be started at flyhalf, his preferred position. He is after all South Africa’s most exciting and dangerous method of attack!

So, in closing, I hope that my comments earn me a yellow card as I would dearly like to be part of the ’sin bin’!

Boo “Hurricane” Radley signing off as your newest female BLOGGER!

(Thanks Boo, you beauty! - Our pack did look a bit out of sorts! - but there’s just no need to go sledging Habana off like that! Take an early shower!!!)