Zulubar

watching rugby in this country can be a painful experience. and i’m not just referring to our teams woeful performances… i’m talking about bad rugby ads.

yes, as if the embarrassing defeats and cringe-worthy commentating efforts weren’t enough, the south african rugby public is then bombarded by a litany of bad adverts during half-time breaks, pre-match build-ups, etc

here are a couple of my ‘favourite’ (cough cough) shockers of recent times:

hi-tec
okay, now i know advertisers are looking for any possible connection between a sport/event and a product.
many times these ‘bonds’ are extremely tenuous at best, but still I find myself incredulous when hearing: “enjoy the rugby, enjoy our shoes”
i mean, really, hennie: what WERE you thinking??

the dros
what can i say about this debacle? i suppose i should just let the advert to the talking (and i quote):
“let’s go bos! down at dros!”.
totally. freaking. awesome.

gatswaai teffers; bokjol twee-duisend-en-vyf; sokkie dans disco; waarsie wors?; etc, etc
just as my ears are trying to recover from our south african commentators doing their utmost to completely butcher the english language, i am subjected to an even more fearsome audio assault.
(the tv-channels obviously subscribe to pummel-and-subdue/shock-and-awe tactics.)
i’m not normally one to pooh-pooh someone else’s taste in music and each to their own, but… in the words of poncey… “kerrie on!”
(seriously though, how many compilations can the sokkie-dancing public handle…? there are like 4 new albums every week! and this is coming from someone that grew up right in the heart of the boland…)

kia
“haai bo”
“at the kia round the corner, twenty-nine-nine-five… sister”
kerrie on!

wellington brandy
i know some people were quite fond of the prancing (talking, singing) clay figurines but I’m afraid I was never a fan. it all the more embarrassing to see these figurines go at it when our real national side were getting pomped by all sundry.

vodacom
quite frankly, i found the idea of a meercat stripping off it’s skin disturbing.

timbercity
okay, i admit: i actually dig this one.
c’mon, its got the catchiest jingle this side of “happy birthday”. or crazy frog.
anyone who says they never started humming along to “…you can measure it up, hit in some nails, put in some screws…” is a filthy liar.

okay, that’s just a little list. i’m sure i’ve left some pretty obvious mingers off this little hall of shame. please feel free to add any you can think of.

if my criticisms don’t fit well with you, just remember the motto of the zulu: “that’s just, like, your opinion man”

or have things REALLY slowed down here at the zulu?

haven’t been able to write much (read: anything) myself lately because have been working like a little pack-mule. in uncomfortable shoes. okay, boo-hoo, so cry me a river…

seriously though: anyone seen poncey?

the man’s either gone on a record 2-week straight binge or… he’s in love. (yikes!) let’s hope its the former!

Eish!!!!

That’s all the wino-meister has to say about that ‘game’ on Saturday. After a heavy Friday night of drinking and telling some equally as drunk and obnoxious Australian guys how gay their rugby team was, I got up to watch the game. If I had known we were going to play like that I would have slept in… and probably not made a drunken bet with one ozzie that we would beat them by 5 points.

JW you let me down (and you owe me 20 pounds. Please send cheque made out to…)

Now before you send me the money, let wino let you in on a few secrets about our current rugby team.

We need another 1^st five…BADLY!!!!!!

We need a fetcher (not for beer, as nice as that is, but for rugby). I don’t care who anymore, just put one in that IS a fetcher because you’re killing big Joe.

Let Paulse go, he’s past it.

Januarie should be left out till he gets rid of that newly acquired pie shape, and Ruan Pienaar should get a run.

As much as it pains me to say, put in the centre combination of Fourie and Julies. At least they’ve played together and know the defence plan properly.

Now I know what you’re saying JW, and normally I’d agree that making all these changes before playing the AB’s is mad, but considering you’re playing Bosman against them when you should have done so AAAGES ago, it seems you have no leg to stand on regarding this matter. Plus if you have Russel and Butch on the bench, you can have other options should Bosman not have the BMT or Julies fall over his huge bum.(ha, its so big)

Me thinks that another specialist fullback (preferably younger and faster) should be included in the setup. Percy won’t be around forever, and with Bosman/Butch on the field we have a kicker should Percy be replaced during the game.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JW sort your sh*t out…

…we don’t want to loose you before the RWC because otherwise we’re dead in the water.

Aside: It seems the wino-meister may just slip a few places in the fantasy league as this week he played with his heart, and not with his head…I need to see my bookie about giving me an extension.

Hey JW, don’t forget my money

i’m sorry… i just couldn’t help myself

Ladies,  Gents…

I really tried to get used to that new theme.  But something just didn’t feel right (if you know what I mean?)

So, I’ve decided to revert to the old Sporting Zulu theme to relive the goeie ou dae’s for a little while.

I’m working my fat fingers to the bone designing a new header too.  Well, maybe not to the bone…  Ag, you get the message.

As has become custom Poncey will fail to impress you with his fantasy powers this season in the Zulubar fantasy league.

Reality Rugby

Conference name: The Sporting Zulu

key: l5mnig

(thanks Wino)

See you there.  Obviously post your comments below and let us know who you are.

Poncey

Hey Ponce I just got the invite for Fantasy league.  Are you going to set up a sporting zulu league like the last one?

Do it

Wino (keen to beat you…again!)

after a difficult sporting week for yours truly (boks - both senior and u21 - getting caned by the french; spain & ghana both exiting the world cup; etc)*, i’m hoping things will start picking up from this weekend.

*the only bit of joy over the past 2 weekends has involved the pummeling of the english rugby side and madames mickleson and montgomery fluffing their respective chances in the us open. of course, these did result in aussie victories so i’m not sure if they were outright victories…

as for the boks, nice to see some of u21s get a call up as well as akona ndungane. (i’m actually a bigger fan of odwa’s, but anyway…) the main reason to smile though comes with the return of front-line centres jean de villiers and jaque fourie. of course, we’re still just as stuffed when either of them gets injured again but i suppose it’s baby steps first… on the down side, andre “buffy the vampire forehead” pretorius is still out for a while and jaco is still doing NO-ONE favours at flyhalf. hopefully bosman gets a run in the tri-nations. or maybe try the perc there. even bakkies when he comes back…

outside of sport and after some time away (far across the boerewors curtain), stickman has made a welcome return to the mother city. currently, i am actually staying at poncey’s house and, apart from seeing the odd rodent gamboll across the pantry, things have been quite pleasant.

after talking a good game for some time, the ponce has also decided that we are heading to ‘tiger tiger’ this w/end. i’m not sure what’s up with the whole repetition thing, but since i never bore a grudge against scott scot (or is it scot scott?), why start now now?

haven’t really been there myself yet, but just listening to the word on the street… speculation is rife that one only needs to walk around with your mouth open to come right. good times.

as a cousin of mine once memorably said: “we’re looking for the drunk, young chicks”. as memorable was poncey’s response on hearing this: “amen, brother. amen.”

let the good times roll…

0-[–<

stickman

I don’t want to blow my own horn here - and lets face it we all probably would if we could - but Poncey was quoted on SARugby.com yesterday.

And before you think that the good folk over at SARugby.com have lost their minds and started quoting Poncey as an expert stop and listen.

It was our very own Nostradamus that threw out some of Poncey’s vibe on the Politicians urge White to resign story.

And I quote (if i may?).

“As Poncey so aptly described Michelson and Montgomery in his blog, I quote Butala Komphela whoever the hell you are, ‘you turd fondler’, please refrain from opening your mouth about things you obviously know NOTHING about! In other words, rather keep totally quiet, because you are very likely to say something completely idiotic if you do the very dangerous action of talking!
Phew, guys that felt really, really good!!!
Nostra ”

Nostra - I have just bumped you up to an author on this blog.  You have shown the spirit, the essential knowledge if you like, that makes the Zulu tick.

You join Wino and myself and Stickman as official authors on the Zulubar.

If anyone else would like to get involved - post a funny comment showing the required humour and state your desire and we’ll think about it…
All good things.

Poncey

Has been in my ear all weekend about how one should forget Nostra-Poncey, Nostra-Wino and Nostradamus and start thinking about Stick-Nost.  Or something like that.

Apparently he reckons he called our demise with his post on the Bokke Blog concerning one  Mr De Wet Barry.

Have a kuiken and see what you think: Click Here

Moving swiftly on!

More later,

Poncey

quand sommes nous allant apprendre

Yes folks, when are we going to learn. Learn how to lose gracefully, learn how not to attack our manne at the drop of a hat, and learn how to just get over it.

Since our loss to the French this weekend, I have read (and heard) endless moaning about how we played, how we should have played, and who we, in all OUR infinite wisdom, would choose as OUR first choice team.

Sitting on the train this morning (currently in England may I remind you) I was privy to a conversation between two South African guys. All they were talking about (and all in Afrikaans so no one could understand them) was how shocking we were over the weekend. True, we didn’t play that well, but as I sat there listening to their focken Barry this and focken Eddie Andrews that, I thought to myself, ‘self, what the hell is wrong with our supporters.’ Not once have I seen Australian or New Zealand rugby teams getting such tongue lashings (heehee) from their supporters. Yes they get down about losing when they do, but they get over it and actually get behind their guys… like supporters are supposed to do. And I think that until we learn how to get behind our guys 100% (even if we lost 100-0 to the Falkenberg XV) we will never be on the same level as the best of the rest. That is why the likes of New Zealand, and (argh) Australia are going to continue to be world beaters.

If I could ask 4 things of our ‘supporters’ they would be…

1: Get off our players’ backs. If they have a bad game, so what, everyone does.

2: Don’t be such little girls and go moaning at every little thing that doesn’t go your way.

3: Get off your high horses. (if you know how JW should coach, then YOU be the coach)

4: Get the positives (however few) out of each game and go forward to the next one.

This way we can be the force that topples even the mighty AB’s.

…Come on SA supporters, it starts with us!